With every bit of adversity we face in our lifetime we receive an instant opportunity to grow. Unfortunately some of these opportunities are the worst in life, the loss of pet, spouse through divorce or death, a child, friend or significant other. Sometimes it we are faced with death, or a relationships that don’t work anymore, it is all loss and in every case there is I wish, I regret, we should have, why didn’t I, or we.
All of this will remain forever unanswered, the answers will not come from anyone else. The questions will be only from the ones left behind in every situation. Unfortunately I have had the opportunity to live through a lot of things, the death of four siblings, two ex husbands, best friends need for a pacemaker that runs 100% of the time, watching helplessly with the death of her grandchild, her son, her health, and knowing I can do nothing to change any of it.
I made a decision about two years ago that I could do what I could do. I stay in touch, I make an effort to have the fellowship of a meal with her, every chance I get, comfort her when I can, and I understand that the sadness now is because of the happiness then, in the past. I am thankful for those I have known and lost, I would have no need of the memory, the whisper of remembrance had they not came into my life. Laughed with me, cried with me, hurt me, helped me, saved me, or cared for me.
The sadness of loss is always a result of the joy of a life we once had, whether it is a permanent loss of death or a loss where the lives of people separate forever without hope of reconciliation. Time does heal us, how much time I don’t know, some wounds are 4 decades old and sometimes they feel like yesterday. They are bittersweet.
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